c-c-c-c-chaaanngesss

2011. I think it's stupid how people keep going on about how this year changed everything in life. I'll bet my hat that next year, the same emotional statuses about change in 2012 will start popping up on facebook, and these tumblr posts taking over my tumblr dashboard about how 2011 has been some kind of intense life changing emotional rollercoaster like no other year will reappear once again in 2012. But in a way it's silly. Every year brings change. I mean come on, if nothing dramatic happens in a persons life over 365 days then life would be unbearable. So what this year has changed us all in this world, but so will next year, and the year after that, change is basically inevitable. This being said, I feel everything's changed this year, and it will probably all change next year, and the year after that. And I guess that's the same for everyone out there. But hey I hate to stereotype so to all those who felt 2011 was just another year, I hope 2012 is slightly more riveting.

"we killed the beast"

"..and we'll run for our lives"

I like to run. I like how while I'm running, nothing else seems to matter but putting one foot in front of the other. Everything seems to fade away. The final sprint, at the end of a run for me is something I can't describe. It's close to flying. Everything you've been through to get to this point, it all boils down to this. The finish. You forget about the pain in your legs, and the stitch in your chest. You just run.

Stopping is harder than starting. Everything hits you after that final sprint; you're legs shake, and you take in laboured gulps of air. You feel thirsty, you feel dizzy. All you're other life problems hit you aswell. Now that you no longer have to force yourself to keep moving forward, your mind is free to go off and worry about everything other challenge you are facing in life. But despite it all, at the end of a run you can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. You could've just spent an hour wasting life on facebook, but no-you got up and went for a run. And you made it back alive.

So yeah, there's my inspirational words for today.

sorry.

I'm not even sure if you're going to read this, but I really hope you do. I'm not even sure if you still stalk me or whatever like you used to, but hopefully you know who you are.

So anyway, there is this girl, one of my bestest friends, and this goes out to her. She's truly one of the most amazing people in the world simply because of the crazy amount of persistence and determination she has to do wonderful thing. She's not afraid of what others think of her, and she's definitely not afraid to stand up for what she believes in. I admire her for all these things. I'm crazy lucky to have her as one of my best friends and I'm not sure what I'd do without a friend like her, and this all sounds ridiculously corny but its true.

So much crazy stuff has been going down in my life and I'm not one to talk about my issues. But for some crazy reason at 1am in the morning I seemed to open up to this girl. I hate talking about things that go wrong with my friends, I feel like I'm complaining and they probably have their own issues and don't give a damn about mine which is completely understandable. I'm also afraid of being judged by those close to me, I fear that if I let them in on whatever is happening with my family or whatever I'll just get bitched about later. This sounds so screwed up, but it's because I probably am just slightly screwed up emotionally or whatever.

Yet despite all this, I opened up to this girl and it felt like she actually did care about what I was saying. Letting alot of things out surprisingly helps, it was nice having someone to talk to about stuff. The whole point of this post is though, to say one big massive "sorry" to this girl.

I'm sorry I didn't let you in.
I'm sorry I was scared.
I'm sorry I couldn't say this all to your face.

That is all.

"I should of known the tides were getting higher"

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in life. That there's so much going on that it crushes you. So many teenage dramas, family dramas, so much drama that you just want to hide in your room and spend hours doing close to nothing-not talking to anyone. You loose yourself in this wave, forget who you are, and who you want to be in life. Thinking about who you want to be, does any of what happens in daily teenage life even matter? Why do we over-dramatize things that in 3 years time will be as forgotten as (hopefully) Justin Beiber will be.

could be the end of the world

it's nice to be alive.

Revelations of today. 

Up until today I feel that I've lived in a bubble about the horrible things that happen, and have happened in this world. About how cruel this world is-that the most beautiful people are the ones that suffer. And it all makes me want to shout out to the world and ask why. 

Why the hell did it take over 5 years for someone to notice that Germans were out abusing the rights of the Jews in ways that were beyond humane. How an entire nation saw one race as completely worthless. Not just a group of screwed up people, an entire nation. An entire nation thought it was alright to send other humans just like themselves into concentration camps and drive them into despair as they watch the people around them slowly disappear. 

Today, this man-Eddy- a Jew who survived the Holocaust talked to us about his experiences. I admire him. To face the horrors of his past, the horrors of surviving Nazi Germany possibly every day with talks such as the one he gave us much take a crapload of courage. To retell your own mothers death, how you were almost beaten to death, the deaths of your friends, being shot at, everything, everyday, and to be able to joke about it all takes a strong person. A strong person with a positive outlook on life. A beautiful person. 

For someone who has gone through so much, he was possibly on of the happiest people I have ever met. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet as he retold his stories which seemed so surreal- as though they were just being read from a story book. His experiences taught him to appreciate life, and in turn he's spread that message on. Seeing how easy it was to kill people, and how much of a struggle it was to survive of course this man knows that life is something that must be appreciated. Something that is not worthless, no matter who you are, or what you've done -which goes against everything the Nazi's did. 

To make this man even more of a beautiful person in my eyes, he told us all to "only dislike people, never hate anyone." And that's exactly what I'm going to try and do. Not to hate anyone, because it was hate that lead to the genocide of 6 million Jews. 

Hate.

Why is it that people hate so easily, but to love something is so hard?

Why?

this is the way I wanted to live, but you know I was scared of the world.

These past two days have been filled with revelations. Revelations about myself, and revelations about the different types of people in this world, and how screwed up some people are.

I'll start with me.

Yesterday I discovered just how little of my true self I let even those extremely close to me see. I can hide in my room all I want and tell myself I don't care about what other people think of me, but when faced with the possibility of being forced up onto a stage infront of your entire year group to dance- it turns out I really do care what people think of me. And if anything, it's sad.

An Indian man with cool shoes told us all that due to a fear of being judged, and a bunch of cruel words that may have been said to us during life as we grow older we build up barriers around who we really are - our "spirit". These walls limit our comfort zone- the places where we feel free to let our true self show.

Thinking about it all, I'm not even sure I have a comfort zone.

I hate talking about myself to other people, I rarely let people know how I really feel, deep and meaningful discussions about my life aren't really my piece of pie. So apparently, this just makes me a bad leader with no courage whatsoever. But seriously, who really does reveal their true selves to the rest of the world?

My experience is that telling people your secrets, is just going to end up with them talking about it all behind your back, it's just natural. Telling people what you're really like-for example with me, telling people casually that despite my apparently innocent appearance, I'm a fan of the crazy hardcore screamo music 99.99% of the world seem to hate-just ends up with people making false assumptions about who you really are.

I'm not crazy, emotionally challenges, depressed or suicidal. It's just good music. Yet the people who know this about me judge me, even if it's pointing to a chick with hair that only covers half her head decked out in black clothing with those scary platform shoes and saying "that's you in 5 years".

Whether it is, or it isn't, it still hurts- the fact that people stereotype me just because I fancy music that involves the occasional heavy bass-line and screaming male singer. But after yesterday, as hypocritical as it may seem I want to get to know others better- because it turns out, although many people seem okay, most of us are really not okay. And I want to change that. We're young, we should be able to screw things up in life and have someone that will always be there to listen to our problems and have our back.

Me in five years time brings me to my next point about life. This Indian with cool shoes asked us to reflect on what we were, what we are know, what we will become and how we want to be remembered in this world.

I was once confident with who I was, now I'm slightly scared of who I am in a way- I'm angry, I'm weird, not confident. What the hell would the little me think of me now-not much.

Quote Parkway Drive- "What the fuck have I become".
But hey, knowing me this is all one slightly large over-exaggeration.

In five years, I know where I want to end up. I want to help people, I want to travel, I want to experience different places and different cultures in the world. I want to run a marathon, I want to be an independent woman. I want to write for a music magazine. I want to change the world in some way. I want to fight poverty. I want to be apart of some kind of heavy rock band.

I want alot.

How I want to be remembered: I want to be remembered as an independent woman, that changed the world even if it was in a small way. I want to be someone who was always seen with a smile, someone that never gave up.

"I couldn't see a thing till I lost my sight"

Everyone sees the world differently, in different colours.

It's what makes life beautiful. It's also destructive- people trying to enforce the way they see the world onto others.

raaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

How do you cheer up?
Do you eat a bucket of ice-cream, drowned in magic ice? Do you get out and run till you feel like you're about to collapse and your heartbeat is so loud and intense that it drowns out any form of emotion? Do you cry in a corner of your room blasting Adele for a long long time, until your eyes are so puffy and red, that upon catching your reflection you can only laugh and wonder why you were crying in the first place? Some take it all out of themselves, others on a wall. Some don't even cheer up.

Why I listen to all those hardcore, screamo-ish bands such as bring me the horizon, parkway drive, the amity affliction, asking alexandria, we came as romans and woah the list could go on forever goes beyond the fact that these bands are friggen epic. They cheer me up-or atleast keep me from becoming some kind of emotional wreck during those times where your world seems to be one big epic fail. It's something I really can't describe in words, but it's something I've always wanted to say. Thinking about it- these songs aren't different at all to your average pop-songs. They're about love, heartbreak, finding love, loosing love-that whole circus. Sure, you actually have to google the lyrics to notice this with screamo music but the messages are there.

The difference with screamo: besides the obvious (the singers abandon your conventional singing techniques, and there are lots of guitars), the messages hold something more than your adele or (shudders..) Justin Beiber.

What I've come to find, is that these songs aren't just about heartbreak and bad things happening, it's about moving on. Moving on, confronting your issues head on. The songs can be empowering-don't hold on to those who will only treat you like shit. When I think about it now, it's not cheering me up but more helping me find the strength to smile and say a big "fek you" to all the things in life that are clouding in on my happiness. The screaming, the guitars, the intense drum beats-blasting it my room after a terrible day is my way of telling the world to back off. My way of ignoring the world. My way of escaping the world.

I'm not sure what this post has come to be, but it's been something I've wanted to say for a while. Finding the right words but-is about as challenging as maths questions at 1am in the morning.

things I don't understand.

Today I took a train out to Liverpool. 

Let me guess, you think Liverpool, you think Western suburbs. You think western suburbs, you think a dodegy place in the middle of nowhere, crawling with gang rapists dressed in trackies and sneakers hiding drugs in the bum bags they sling around their shoulder. 

You think western suburbs, you think muslim land. Chinatown. Whatever. 

No place for a fifteen year old girl.

But hey, I've been there, and made it out alive. 

Changed slightly, but alive. 

And no, I did not get raped. 

On the train, I discovered that it's slightly disconcerting being the only "australian" on the train. All this got me thinking, because well there's nothing much you can do on an hour train trip through the middle of nowhere besides stare out, into no where. Or count trees, if you're the mathematical type.

Why are ethnic groups, such as the Lebanese all to be found in just the one place? And in other places, like the shire there are hardly none. 

A geographer would say it has something to do with the cost of living. A religious figure would say it was just the calling of a religious being. 

The geographer is being stereotypical, I mean surely not all Lebanese/ muslim/ asian people are struggling financially.

So what is it?

Is it just us "Australian's" being racist, and basically squishing all the different people in our cities into one small, deserted corner?

And why, are these places stereotyped as being the bad side of town?

creature fear.

I'm scared of growing up. 

Sure, I can't wait to leave school, travel the world, get drunk in Sweden, go to uni, but that's two whole years away. And in these past few weeks I've feel like I've done more growing up than I have in my whole 15 years of life. 

Everyone these days is trying to be older, wishing they were older.

Sometimes, I wish I could've stayed five forever.

Children live in a bliss world of ignorance. I want that world back. 

yeah , yeah , yeah. i like these peope.

excuse my immature mind...

note the number of pageviews.
69
oh i lol.

if you fall hard, I fall harder

We're all slowly falling in a way.
But what people don't seem to realize is that as we fall, we claw at those around us, and bring them down with us. It's these people that fall the hardest. Dealing with the fall of those they care about, whilst struggling with the freefall that is life.

And when you think you've stopped falling, you've really just only slowed down in preparation for some mass drop.

Well at least, that's the general way of my life.

keep rockin' folks.

you're shadow is too far behind you

relating life to quadrilaterals.

If like is like a trapezium, as discovered during a maths lesson several days ago, I'm definitely cruising along the top of the shape. And for once, I am not going to elaborate/ go off on some rant which leads to me being pessimistic about the near future. 

So here's a song that I've been singing these past few days:

not the happiest, but it's amazing nevertheless :'D

I wont give up on you, so don't give up on me.

"When you try your best but you don't succeed. Stuck in reverse."

Sometimes I feel as though my life is just going round in circles.

I try and fix things, but once these things are fixed something else just happens to break. So, basically I feel like I'm wasting my life trying to fix the things I've screwed up.

What's also annoying is when the people around me tell me that I shouldn't even bother, or I'm just not fixing these things the right way.

It's like a slap in the face, working towards achieving something then someone looking down on you're struggles and telling you that you've got it all wrong. Or the massive let-down you get when you think you understand how some crazy mathematical equation works and you use it to answer a question but you really have got it all wrong.

What's also annoying is the fact that whenever I feel like going for a run, it rains.
All I can say is, it's times like these when I desperately need to get out and run forever. But the stupid weather man obviously ain't my friend.

Why do I bother?

Keep rockin' folks.
vic.

Blank Pages, Swelling Rages

Today;
I felt like everything in this world was crumbling down on me.
Then I played some music,
Looked over to my friend;
And I was rocking my way up the top of this world.

Funny what something as priceless as some music-making can do.

Here's To The Past.

Have you ever felt like you made the wrong decision about something, or said the wrong thing that caused a bad thing to happen then a month or two down the track casually find yourself reflecting on what may or may not have happened if you had said something different?

Being a teenager apparently means living without regrets, because before you know it it's all going to end and a  crapload of responsibility gets dumped on you.

Well, I have my first major regret. 

And I only now I realise this regret, when it's seemingly too late to do anything about it.

Why do I get so worked up over things?

All this is going to lead to is me in a nunnery going to mass seven times a day. 

I hate myself sometimes, and wish that I had an older sister. I may as well still go around thinking "sex" is a naughty word.

Grow up Vic. 

Boy I wish I could've told myself that 6 weeks ago. 

"playing my songs is the way i cope with life"

Music. I'm not sure about all you people out there reading this (hi stan, sarah and lydia-stop stalking me.) but music means alot to me. One song can drive you run those few extra miles, put a bounce in your step as you walk home at the end of the day. One song can evoke memories, tears, happiness, anger. A song can be like a friend, when your down and feel like you have none.

"the fountain" by pendulum is such a song. You know how you go through lil' phases with songs, playing them over and over, day after day. I went through such a phase with this song whilst I was travelling round Europe with the family last year. I have distinct memories of listening to this song whilst driving around a round-about to get onto the road that lead to my great-aunties house in Italy. Also remember playing it on a Parisian train to Disney Land. Basically, this song reminds me of what I can easily call the greatest time of my life. I don't listen to it as much now but whenever I do the memories come flooding back; mainly of driving around Italian countrysides stuck in a volvo my dad despised, visiting family I never knew I had. Visiting family meant a meal that could seriously keep me full for three days, but every day I seemed to be having one, if not two of these massive meals.

Nevertheless, they were damn good meals.

But besides this song bringing back these lovely memories, I like lyrics of the song.
"Behind my eyes, is rage alone, but you don't understand-it was all home-grown".

^^this line i sometimes feel I can relate to because sometimes I feel I'm an angry child and what better to blame it on but the shizz that has gone down at home in my life.

Food for though? ...whatever that mean.

"what's happening to me, i'm dying from the inside.."

Well it's official, I am convinced that love brings out the monster in people. It's ironic really, you'd think it would be one of those not so happy emotions like hate, or lust or whatever. But it's the good innocent little emotion/feeling that starts wars, and less importantly eats away at you like some. You can try and stay neutral like Sweden but in the end you find yourself being sucked into it all. Whether out of love for a friend, that's been eaten up by the monster that is love, or because it's you that's being eaten up, or out of some absurd love for your country which drives you to go out and risk your life. The examples could go on, but as usual I'm just going to casually forget the big picture and focus on love in the context of a screwed up teenage life such as mine.

Somewhere in the bible, I'm pretty sure it says that love brings out the best in people- or maybe that's Harry Potter? I'm hoping its the bible cause that statement is bull-shizz.

Ok, it may not exactly be "love" but a strong  liking and physical attraction (ok, its love.) towards males has slightly confused my life to the maximum. Love of a man starts you're everyday bitch fight, and well lets just say love has brought out some kind of monster that had previously been chilling inside of me and there's a dent in my wall as proof.

It makes you angry, it makes you want to curl up in a ball and cry like Harry Potter dies for good, it makes you want to tear your ex-best friends head off and it makes you feel so confused that you're facing a maths test full of parabolas, and equations -shivers-

But you can bag out love all you want, but in a way it makes you stronger, so that you can withhold from crying at the end of the Titanic, or stand up to some man you supposedly used to love and say "i'm better off without you, go try and get into some other girls pants". It also makes you feel loved, which is a feeling you can't really describe. It's like a warm bath after spending three days trekking in some hole in the middle of a swedish winter (not that I've done that), it's like a high 5 after you've told a fail-whale joke, or just a smile between two friends while a teaching is looming over you giving you a "stern talking to"

So that's my crazy, contradictory,  rant that doesn't make much sense for this week.
stay swell world!

i wish i could stay this happy forever

but knowing my luck, this random state of happiness that i'm currently in will never last....

im fifteen, and have a bucket list formed.

things I aspire to do before I die:

1. live in sweden
2. travel-lots
3. run a marathon in some foreign country :3
4. travel some more
5. write a book about travelling
6. I should probably go to uni...
7. form an awesome rock band
8. travel with the rock-band..
9. write another book
10. open a coffee shop, or a floristry, either way im happy :)
11.go to multiple concerts and start a collection of band tee-shirts
12. and a cd collection...
13. run another marathon, in another foreign country, for charity...
14. skydive.
15. fly a plane
16. meet oli sykes
17. find hogwarts...
18. learn another language-italian or swedish.or both!
19. take some macho cooking course ;)
..and well thats about it
for now O.o

and that's it, so far.

this weekend has been eventful. in my eyes the weekend starts as soon as you walk out the school door on a friday afternoon, and ever since then I have laughed so much that abs have begun to form, cried like some looser watching the bold and the beautiful and made the internet an awkward place for me to lurk-oh yeah and i just casually ran 11km in an hour.

So, what have I learnt exactly; firstly, I have a bunch of amazing friends that have some crazy ability to keep me sane. I seem to take things way way way way way too far. Believing in something, actually helps towards you doing that something. Music is a driving force of its own. Pineapples are actually amazing!

So um yeah....cool pineapples ay?

"Home Sweet Hole"

I feel like there's no escape from any crap. My world seems to be falling apart, and in a weird way I can't wait till school starts. When there was shizz going down at home, I could always forget about it by getting out and chilling with people far far away from heathcote. But nowadays, chilling with friends comes  with a side order of a whole lot of other shizz-about boys, and girls with boys, and ohmyfluffingjudelaw if I here about any more about certain people from joeys I'll throw something at a certain someone who apparently can't get enough of these joeys males. The thing is, it's not all my shizz-alot of all this is me, being typical me, worrying about everyone else then realizing that while I was doing all this worrying that (metaphorically) a dragon has been growing and breeding underneath my bed-a dragon tha has slowly been eating away at my life, while I'm off trying to help everyone else.

Recently, my mum told me she was thinking about letting me go on exchange to Sweden at the end of this year. I was over the frikkin moon. Exchange meant no school certificate, avoiding all the crap that's gunna go down when formal time comes around and a chance to get away from everyone and everything. 

Some wise words from my mum: 

"You can't just run away from everything"

Some wise words from House"

"It's better to face things than to run away from them. It's like standing in-front of a pitbull-it would be better o stay where you are than to run away, otherwise you'll just get hit in the bum."

So, lesson for today; Don't run away from stuff, similar to everything that's going on around me now. But I really can't take that. Alright it hasn't worked out in many movies, but there is really no other way. Every time I sit down and let my mind randomly drift off-all I can think about is everything going down at the moment. Running away-to Sweden preferably- would give me a chance to forget about everything, then come back with a semi cleared mind and then deal with everything. 

So, yeah. 

Are We Going Up, Or Just Going Down?

Life sucks. Basically. Ignore my last post about my kind of life not being as bad as people dramatize, because right now; everything is just screwing up. My sister hates me, my relationship with the albanian boy failed epically, one of my mega close friends tells me she's leaving our school at the end of the year and the final harry potter is showing in a week.

Why do these things all happen at once?

I guess as much as I say these things don't really matter to me, when you're sitting in you're room alone cut off from the world they creep on up behind you and you realise that they matter to you.

Shizz. Re-reading this stuff makes me sound horribly selfish and self-centred. But I'm sorry whoever is reading this, I had to get this all out somehow and yes I've tried diary writing and it fails. This is all I can think of.

But to all of you- hypocritically- chin up, and keep rockin'

"Can Nobody Save Us, Will Anyone Try?"

Today I realized something; I don't want to die without making some sort of difference in the world. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a hole like Heathcote watching episodes of House. I want to go out and make some kind of difference. 

Is this in any way self-centered?

I want to start a band. And I want to create music that matters. Music with a message. A message that can open the eyes of listeners to the many injustices in this world. Rock with a reason. To the fact that millions of children go hungry each day and are so used to it, that they don't even bother complaining. But here in Australia, and every other developed country in this world, children don't just complain about being hungry, but about why they don't have the latest version of the iPad or whatever apple is selling. 

But I'm not saying I'm any different. I've heard so much about the hardships people my age in third world countries have to face and I still have times where I think my life sucks. But in a way, that's one of the problems with being rich. You're never truly happy with what you have, and in a way money is the only thing that will bring you happiness. Not family, not friends. Little bits of paper. 

It's ironic really, that we have three meals a day, a warm place to sleep, a toilet but we're the ones that think our lives suck. These people in Africa, they don't have even half the benefits we have, yet just being alive makes them happy. Little things like meeting a new person would make them happy. Tennis-balls and second hand clothes is the equivalent to getting an iPod as a gift for us. 

Am I even making sense? I really don't know.

What I'm trying to say is that-this world is seriously flawed. There is a gap the size of Heathcote between the rich and the poor yet in a way the poor are happier than we are. As I said before, it's ironic; We have everything except happiness, they have nothing but happiness and hope to keep them going, but what they really need is money for "a better life", but with money comes the desire for more- and that brings unhappiness.

I probably have this all wrong. But whatever.

Le Albanian Boy

I guess it's been a while since I've posted something-wait-rephrase that-it's been like forever since I've posted something. Well thats how it feels. Yesterday feels like-well-yesterday. And however long ago I was plagued by that stupid PDH test was  (that in the end was so goddamn straight-forward I'm pretty sure a driving camel could've passed it) feels like twelve forevers ago.

Lemme just say a hell of a lot has changed since then.

No, I haven't gone bonkers and shaved my eyebrows off in an attempt to look more like lord voldemort. In a way I think I've become more normal than ever. Okay, I still feel the need to occasionally bury my head in a pillow and drown everything out with some good ol' screamo-but who doesn't when your fifteen and have a life to figure out? I guess I'm just feeling the need less and less. Why you ask? Well believe it or not. I, Victoria -insert rest of name here- have somehow ended up in a relationship.

No, there were no bribes or love potions involved.

So that's my new for today. Gosh, I feel like I was telling that to my semi psychotic mum all over again. Now there's a pleasant memory. You could probably dramatically re-enact it as a dualogue or something.

Me: (getting into car after waiting legit 15mintues outside sutherland station for either the end of the world or my mum to pick me up. its cold.) Hi mum
Mum: HOW WAS YOUR DATE !?!
Me:-eyeroll- it was beautiful..umm...
Mum: you going to go out again
Me: well he asked me out....
Mum: Out where? I mean you've already gone to the movies...maybe bowling?
Me: No mum-he asked me out...like out out
Mum: What do you mean...more movies?
Me: HE ASKED ME OUT!
Mum: OOh! Did he ask you to me his girlfriend?
Me: -facepalm- yes >.>
Mum: oh ! Well, what's he like? IS HE NORMAL?
Me: I guess...
Mum: I mean..does he like your kind of music...what kind of music does he like?
Me: Umm...i dont think so...
Mum:OH THANK GOD! is his hair normal?
Me: it's blonde..

Now theres a conversation I really do not see myself forgetting. Thankfully the traffic loved me that day and we were home before she could ask me anything else that was awkward and unnessecary about my "boyfriend" who i might as well as refer to AS THE ALBANIAN BOY! (several people will get this)

So yeah this albanian boyfriend of mine-he's rather swell.
Cool. I'm leaving to go slay a dragon or something..i feel as though an awkward tumbleweed has drifted across my laptop screen
outta here folks.
keep rocking!

That Long Forgotten Song

So, there I was lying on the floor attempting to do some random PDH study, listening to my iPod when "better than heaven" by bloc party came on. You people do not understand, i was no joke obsessed with this song and this band at one stage of my life. I have an extraordinary amount of their pictures plastered on my wall and old school books to prove it. I have to admit, that hearing this song after an overload of hardcore stuff that has been taking over my iPod these past few months was kinda weird and I couldn't help but think back to the me that adored this song, to the me that has almost completely forgotten about this certain song.

How things have changed.

I am the ocean, I am the sea, there is a world inside of me

Before I write anything, I would like to just say that "Crucify Me" by Bring Me The Horizon, despite the kinda creepy title is an absolutely amazing song. I'm not saying this because I'm a mass fan of the band, but from a musical point of view, this song goes beyond your typical screamo. It's not just some crack-addicted rockstar screaming his lungs out, backed up by some kick-ass guitar and hardcore drumming. Nuh-uh, this some pushes the limits and experiments with more than just new guitar riffs. Amongst all the screaming, there's a choir- yes you read correctly- a choir. Singing over and over "There is a hell, believe me I've seen it. There is a heaven believe me I've seen it"--the name of the album this song is off, this choir fits in perfectly with the somewhat religious air of the song. Don't worry, Bring Me The Horizon is anything but religious.

"Crucify Me" Is not your average screamo song.

After you listen to "Crucify Me" I'd listen to "Rawwrrr" by the same band. There's a hell of a difference between the two songs, which I believe are both pretty good. Musically though, "Crucify Me" is much more advances than one of Bring Me The Horizon's early singles "Rawwrr". It awesome to see how far this band has come, experimenting with new media.

Now, the point of this post? I'm actually not even sure.

beautiful lie; 30 seconds to mars

basically this is telling everyone to wake up to what's actually happening in the world; everythings melting which can only mean that some serious crap is going to go down if we don't do something to stop it all.