c-c-c-c-chaaanngesss

2011. I think it's stupid how people keep going on about how this year changed everything in life. I'll bet my hat that next year, the same emotional statuses about change in 2012 will start popping up on facebook, and these tumblr posts taking over my tumblr dashboard about how 2011 has been some kind of intense life changing emotional rollercoaster like no other year will reappear once again in 2012. But in a way it's silly. Every year brings change. I mean come on, if nothing dramatic happens in a persons life over 365 days then life would be unbearable. So what this year has changed us all in this world, but so will next year, and the year after that, change is basically inevitable. This being said, I feel everything's changed this year, and it will probably all change next year, and the year after that. And I guess that's the same for everyone out there. But hey I hate to stereotype so to all those who felt 2011 was just another year, I hope 2012 is slightly more riveting.

"we killed the beast"

"..and we'll run for our lives"

I like to run. I like how while I'm running, nothing else seems to matter but putting one foot in front of the other. Everything seems to fade away. The final sprint, at the end of a run for me is something I can't describe. It's close to flying. Everything you've been through to get to this point, it all boils down to this. The finish. You forget about the pain in your legs, and the stitch in your chest. You just run.

Stopping is harder than starting. Everything hits you after that final sprint; you're legs shake, and you take in laboured gulps of air. You feel thirsty, you feel dizzy. All you're other life problems hit you aswell. Now that you no longer have to force yourself to keep moving forward, your mind is free to go off and worry about everything other challenge you are facing in life. But despite it all, at the end of a run you can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. You could've just spent an hour wasting life on facebook, but no-you got up and went for a run. And you made it back alive.

So yeah, there's my inspirational words for today.

sorry.

I'm not even sure if you're going to read this, but I really hope you do. I'm not even sure if you still stalk me or whatever like you used to, but hopefully you know who you are.

So anyway, there is this girl, one of my bestest friends, and this goes out to her. She's truly one of the most amazing people in the world simply because of the crazy amount of persistence and determination she has to do wonderful thing. She's not afraid of what others think of her, and she's definitely not afraid to stand up for what she believes in. I admire her for all these things. I'm crazy lucky to have her as one of my best friends and I'm not sure what I'd do without a friend like her, and this all sounds ridiculously corny but its true.

So much crazy stuff has been going down in my life and I'm not one to talk about my issues. But for some crazy reason at 1am in the morning I seemed to open up to this girl. I hate talking about things that go wrong with my friends, I feel like I'm complaining and they probably have their own issues and don't give a damn about mine which is completely understandable. I'm also afraid of being judged by those close to me, I fear that if I let them in on whatever is happening with my family or whatever I'll just get bitched about later. This sounds so screwed up, but it's because I probably am just slightly screwed up emotionally or whatever.

Yet despite all this, I opened up to this girl and it felt like she actually did care about what I was saying. Letting alot of things out surprisingly helps, it was nice having someone to talk to about stuff. The whole point of this post is though, to say one big massive "sorry" to this girl.

I'm sorry I didn't let you in.
I'm sorry I was scared.
I'm sorry I couldn't say this all to your face.

That is all.